dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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