This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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