hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
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Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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