yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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