I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize