We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i need some magic done to my vagina
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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