New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize