he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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