We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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