Welp...herpes.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize