this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just want to make out with him forever
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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