i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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