you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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