dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
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I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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