I am midnight drunk by noon
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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