it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize