dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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