You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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