i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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