her vagine was all disorganized.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize