I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize