the day after is always just damage control
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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