Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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