Sponge bath it is.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
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