I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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