We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
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she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
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I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize