Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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