And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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