just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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