Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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