I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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