I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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