Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home

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(401): Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home http://tfl.nu/zrvk

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(515): View more from Iowa

I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there

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(515): I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there http://tfl.nu/h3ha

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(270): View more from Kentucky

There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.

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(270): There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal. http://tfl.nu/1sv3

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(260): View more from Indiana

i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?

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(260): i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really? http://tfl.nu/3wbc

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.

(1405): View more from

I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?

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(405): If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie. (1405): I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes? http://tfl.nu/u9sc

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(913): View more from Kansas

Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.

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(913): Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country. http://tfl.nu/x6hu

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(845): View more from New York

So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.

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(845): So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation. http://tfl.nu/fvna

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(905): View more from Ontario

the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.

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(905): the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/6bmb

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(206): View more from Washington

i want to swaddle you in tequila

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(206): i want to swaddle you in tequila http://tfl.nu/ks6c

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(845): View more from New York

Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.

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(845): Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry. http://tfl.nu/kkr1

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(714): View more from California

Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.

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(714): Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume. http://tfl.nu/yo6q

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(330): View more from Ohio

My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.

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(330): My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out. http://tfl.nu/tebu

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(425): View more from Washington

I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.

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(425): I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me. http://tfl.nu/51kh

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(907): View more from Alaska

Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.

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(907): Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy. http://tfl.nu/fd5d

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(702): View more from Nevada

At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.

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(702): At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out. (1-702): If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week. http://tfl.nu/ued1

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