As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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