When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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