he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
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Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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