you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize