Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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