Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
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Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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