YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize