All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I cannot find my penis.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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