Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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