Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize