when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
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She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
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He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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