I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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