...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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