Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize