Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize