I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize