gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize