The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize